| I like my xanga. Not too many peopel know about it, or care to, so I can jot down thoughts I have, so that I can come back and read them later and hopefully understand what I was thinking. more thoughts: No one thing can make a person happy. The meaning behind life is the constant search for happiness. Happiness can't be attained on earth because it requires a full knowledge of God. We can never fully understand God (probably even in heaven, b/c that would mean we were equal w/ God and that's just not possible since we are His creation- not to say God can't do something- but then if we understood Him we would also be God and- whoa, do I really need to continue?) ;sinc we can't understand Him, can we ever be happy? Since God (the unreachable, unobtainable, infinite idea of happiness) is the only "thing" that can make someone happy, why do we turn from Him and decide to live a life of strict mortality? I run from Him to try to find things that can take His place, I fill my life w/ useless things: search for knowledge, family, friends, love, none of which can make me happy individually. Can the accumulation and balance of these things bring happiness? Not w/o God. So why do I still fight it? ----- If not one thing can make a person happy, what's the point of striving for those things? b/c we always think that they can make us happy, no matter what we tell ourselves- we need reasons to get up in the morning. The issue of fate vs. free-will. Can't understand or begin to grasp how they coincide (if they do). God, whom I can't understand, has control, yet gives us choices. He knows what will happen yet it is still for us to decide. Confusing to say the least. Why do bad things happen to good people? First, define "good people". Woops, I can't, no such thing. "For ALL haven fallen short of the glory of God" Therefore, do we deserve all the bad things that happen? Maybe not exactly deserve, maybe it's more like a blessing (hard one for me to grasp right now). If God didn't love us so much he would spoil us and give us everything we wanted, no true happiness there, b/c there is no coming closer to him through that. A better question might be, why do good things happen to bad people? b/c God is punishing them? that doesn't make much sense either. "I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time" ~from the song Glycerine by Bush. Older song, good quote. I am currently reading The Case for Faith. I like it. Easy to read, but hard to cope w/ some of the answers he gives. I am also in a Theology class from which many of my questions stem. I like it, it makes me think more. I am struggling w/ a bout of Chrone's again. I think i'm on the uphill slope though. Finally. I let it get too bad this time. No hospital stays, but I did have surgery last Monday. Let's just say, now that the next week has started, I can say I survives the "week from Hell". No joke. If you really want me to elaborate, just ask. I miss my bf alot. Never knew that it was possible to miss someone so much. I know, I'm turning into a sap. God, help me. I said I'd never dote over something like this, I guess I lied. He's jealous of the time I spend w/ my guy friend Stephen. Funny how that happens. So, I guess I'll stop spending time w/ him for a while, at least until Josh meets him. Caitlin, Dane and one of their friends came to Omaha on Saturday. I missed them soooooo much! We went to Chipotle and had some spicy goodness. Then we went to NE Furniture Mart. I forgot just how crazy Dane was. It was great. Then we came here, where Dane ran off to find Anna Gacke. He did so sucessfully, but then they had to go. I was sad, b/c I didn't get to talk to them as much as I wanted. Not that I had much more to say, but just spending time w/ them makes me happy. There, now I've come full circle. |
